pissed much

ok ive got to vent.

angry loh. possibly the worst hols ever. no wait, there isnt any holiday to speak off yet.

make that angry and tired.

med sch is frankly...

ok year 1 and year 2 was ok. year 3 was fun and meaningful, getting to learn from patients themselves.

but we have 5 postings. and after each posting, we dun have any breaks. so its like we have an end of posting test on the saturday of the last of the 8 weeks. and then bam, following monday, you start posting in an entirely new hospital, having to get used to everything once more. and learning a completely new set of knowledge.

and then after the end of year exams, we have one week of some project planning. ok lah, quite chill, but it just sucks that you cant properly turn off and just let the brain switch off.

AND THEN AFTER THAT, we still have got to fulfill one month worth of elective of doing 'something enriching that non-sch related'. er isnt that holidays are for?

so for the next one month, ive got to spend 5 WORKING days WORKING. am totally dreading monday

and it doesnt help that the weather is so awfully humid and stale and warm.

just hope i actually learn something meaningful and not return home everyday after work spoiling everyone's day by pms-ing giving black face etc etc cause honestly, i dun feel good abt it :(( but i just cant help it!

SIGH

'No, I have no regrets; Non, je ne regrette rien'

'No, nothing at all, I regret nothing at all
Not the good, nor the bad. It is all the same.
No, nothing at all, I have no regrets about anything.
It is paid, wiped away, forgotten.
I am not concerned with the past, with my memories.
I set fire to my pains and pleasures,
I dont need them anymore.
I have wiped away my loves, and my troubles.
Swept them all away.
I am starting again from zero.

No, nothing at all, I have no regrets
Because from today, my life, my happiness, everything,
Starts with you!'

------------------

'Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié
Je me fous du passé
Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumé le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux
Balayés mes amours
Avec leurs trémolos
Balayés pour toujours
Je repars à zéro

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie
Car mes joies
Aujourd'hui
Ça commence avec toi...'

pls pls let my examiners be nice!

so, once again an early morning post at 0110hrs

tomorrow will be the part three of my third year exam trilogy. practical for physical examination

omg I think I may not be as well prepared as I should be

like in terms of presentation and stuff

' on general inspection mr so-and-so appears to be alert and comfortable at rest. heart rate regular and good volume of 70beat/min.
there is a central stenotomy scar. apex beat palpated at mid clavicular line, 5th intercostal space.
my main auscultatory finding is a first mechanical heart sound, suggestive of a mitral valve replacement. otherwise first and second heart sounds were heard without any extra heart sounds or murmurs auscultated. I would like to examine for signs of over anticoagulation such as bruising or gum
bleeding. otherwise the patient does not show signs of infective endocarditis ( splinter haemorrhages, osler nodes, janeway lesions. offer fundoscopy for Roth spots.
no conjuctival pallor suggestive of anemia. no elevated jvp -no right heart failure. would like to offer to ausculatate for pulmonary edema, check for ascites and pedal edema.
also offer to check temp chart, BP and urine dipstick.

in summary, mr so and so is a elderly Chinese gentleman who had had a mitral
valve replacement.'

that's for cardio exam presentation. still have abdomen respiratory thyroid neuro (face upper and Lower limb) etc etc

shit shit shit

hahaha it's ok still got one more day.

and nice examiners would really help!

okok no time to fantasise abt plans after sat!

ttyl!

to try your best

for even if it doesn't work out, and you hurt yourself

there will be no regrets. no 'what ifs'

and there's nothing wrong with remaining fallen. rest. dust yourself off. catch your breath

and try again (:

like how I totally just chilled after the exhuastive 3hr hundred and twenty mcq paper

and watched 2x episodes of running man

no regrets lol

in lieu of 1x ep of running man :((

so i typed a post this morning at 1.14am while taking a break from round #3 of revision of ortho and the entire draft disappeared zzz

ok am feeling slightly jittery. sympathetic overdrive from 2 cups of tea and 1 cup of coffee in the span of 2 hrs

cant.think.straight.

siannnn feels damn lame to be typing what ive typed yesterday lehhhh

it basically went smt like how yr 3 of med sch has passed by so quickly. 5x 8 weeks of posting.

(thats FORTY weeks mind you)

paeds. nuh and kkh
family medicine. raffles place gp clinic, hougang polyclinic etc etc
surgery. alexandria hospital
orthopaedics. nuh and ktph
and general medicine. sgh

good lord. on hindsight its like crash course of basic medicine in 40 weeks.

and thats pretty much how my twentyfirst year of existence played out. not bad huh, coincides with the acedamic year for uni- may to may.

arghhhh

NOW the pre-exam panic is starting to set in haha dunnoe what else to say le.

ss hwaiting!

it was a rather tiring twenty-first

omg one entire draft disappeared

siao siao siao

2012 is cominggggg

i dun know man. previously its all about making resolutions, change and hope for a better year but as we grow older, there's nothing much one can do about the new year, and future, for plans have already been made. or our paths is more or less determined, and fixed.

like how im actually anxious abt the first half of 2012 for there's so many things going on.

research (every sat 8 -5pm for jan and feb), sch (waking up at 0530 *GROANS*) plus tutition (cash on hand update- 1x 50 dollar note in cashbox. really. zilch in my 'ss's personal expenditure' compartment in my braun buffel wallet. *$ob$)

not to mention m.b.b.s 3.0 (ie final year exams where i have to mug for paediatrics, family medicine, general surgery, orthopaedics and general medicine)

if 2012 is really the end of the world as the mayans predicted, can it pls be like march? after i splurge my cny hong bao money. lol save me the trouble of mugging for the exams

ah ss! why so dreary!

haha damn damn damn. sch lah! cramping my style mannn

but thats the reality of life? i dun know abt other fields, but in medicine, you have to be hardworking to really be something. everyone's doing research, mugging, and doing more research. shit man its like jc intensity x 100.

and then when you become a doctor, also must pia.

so tired to just think abt it.

thus my resolution for twenty twelve is.

whatever lah. just try to survive.

and maybe fondle my itouch less.

haha cheers (:

'the days are long, and the years are short'

SO my goodness, its been quite a while huh.

bo bian sch lo. haha ive crossed my halfway mark in med sch er, 6 weeks ago. wah thats fast, yet so long

i dun know about you, but i seem to have lost my sense of perspective of time. days weeks and months. even a year seem so distant...but actually, not very long?

time passes too fast.

like how my mom asked me to pluck her white hair, and to my shock, there were like so many.

ANYWAY, just to recap! ss is in his third (out of five) year of med sch, and its been pretty...smooth sailing? haha to be honest, i cant remember much le. so cant really remember the horrible bits.

then again, i think im quite adaptable? haha just bump around and act blur lo.

but yah, have been waking up like uber early at 5-ish. as a result i can no longer sleep beyond 11am during the weekend.

ikr how screwed up is that? haha

not to mention my bowel movements. but i shant go into details

have done the following postings:
i) paediatrics! babies! 'nuff said (:

ii) family medicine. treating everyone

iii) general surgery. err cant really remember much le. lol i plead waking up at 0530 everyday. but it was quite a sedate posting learning at alexandria hospital. very nice environment with very enthu tutors who spam tutorials like everyday

iv) now. orthopaedics. quite enjoyable! although my prof starts ward rounds early at 0730 (ie me needs to wake up at 0530), he blanjas kopi/milo beng after rounds. so im cool (: haha

though there's still the 'bowel still asleep --> constipated me' syndrome from waking up early

-------------

AHHH! its the hols FINALLY! :D

am feeling so carefree and yeah, taking this break to charge up

and probably forget what ive learnt for the past two weeks of ortho lol

so many things to do so little time!

meeting up with friends and more friends!!

of course engaging in family activities

like spring cleaning.

haha happy hols!~

what dumbledore didnt say

that love is like a horcrux
you give it, invest it
though in someone,
not something

if that someone treasures it,
you will be immortal

but if he/she doesnt,
a part of you will be destroyed

and boy,
will it be painful